Easter Eggsplosion 🤯

Ditch the revered chocolate egg, and come celebrate the explosive egg this Easter.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when nerves get the better of me, I find inspiration and conversation in the most mundane. My last and final date for the significant future, found itself in the midst of such a long and unsettling silence that my brain started whirring and ticking, desperately trying to unravel some filler that might keep the short term pain at bay for a short while longer. My conversation filler took a turn for the unexpected. I divulged into an analysis of eggs; the yolks I've found myself most impressed by, and my extra-ordinary recent encounter with a mushable white in which my finger unintentionally penetrated the surface, prematurely disturbing the yolk within. Suffice to say, Alex didn't share the same height of enthusiasm on  the topic of eggs as I did, and our first date also became our final.

What better excuse for a full-on egg porn experience than to ditch the famed chocolate-immersed Easter Egg, and to instead share with you my intrepid research & ratings into the trinity of eggs (all free-range).

Happy Egg

A happy egg for a happy experience. This yolk had a firm, hardy, and robust white, which - once punctured - oozed out a steady stream of happiness. The emerging colour had its fair share of yellow, combined with the characteristic orange, and enveloped with the underlying smoked salmon like two lovers. 3.5/5.

Tesco Finest 'Chestnut Maran'

With a white that played hard-to-get, Misleading Maran was quite a tease. She required a lot of pressure and persistence, but once permeated, flowed freely her enticing, chestnut-laden yolk. 'Rich, golden' and a true free-ranger. 4/5.

Wood Farm

Self-assured, confident, and not one to hide its humility. Proudly displaying itself as large - in a bright, blue font, lest we forget - this one was overly-zealous, so much so that it broke in transit. Therefore, I had no choice but to shower our Wood Farm princess with special treatment. Taking down the boil to a low simmer, I had her poached. The result? The white shielded the yolk rather successfully (though not as attractively as my former two). But, when probed, the yolk eased out in quite a slow trickle, and not nearly as assuredly as her packaging had us believe. 3.5/5.